


Talked Through

by emmaliza



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Communication, Complicated Relationships, Dom/sub, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Kink Negotiation, Light Angst, M/M, No porn just talking, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:36:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaliza/pseuds/emmaliza
Summary: “It's just, it's not that I don't want to...” Rob can just imagine it, Gary on his knees, covered with his come and god knows what else, and it's getting him hard already. That's what bothers him. “But I don't want to hurt you.”“You won't,” Gary tells him with a frown. “I trust you.”“Well that's great, but that doesn't meanItrust me.”





	Talked Through

Rob stumbles back in from the bathroom and finds Gary still lazing about in his bed, looking both half-asleep and thoroughly blissed out. “Hey,” he says, towel wrapped around his waist, “aren't you going to go clean yourself up?”

With a pleased hum, Gaz rolls on his side to face him. “Not yet. Gimme a second. I might not be up to it.”

He chuckles, and jumps onto the bed with a thud. He pulls Gaz into a gentle kiss, not much like what they do when they're shagging, and he gets kissed back, sharing a warm, soft moment.

When they break apart, Rob takes a moment to run his eyes over Gary's body, barely concealed beneath thin white sheets. “You're okay, right?” he asks. “It was alright?”

Gary looks bemused by his questions. “Yeah, of course it was alright,” he says. “I fucking love the things you do to me, why else would I be sleeping with you?”

Robbie shrugs. On some level, he knows Gaz is right, but that doesn't mind his insecurity isn't going to run amok with it. “I just wonder, you know,” he says. “There isn't something you're wanting that I'm not giving, right?” Leave it to him to make it all about whether he's good enough or not. “Like, you are the Captain. I was kind of expecting you to order me about and tell me what to do.”

There's a pause. Rob was just kidding, but all of a sudden, Gaz turns pink and bashfully averts his eyes. “I wouldn't mind if it was the other way 'round,” he mutters.

Rob stops. He doesn't quite understand. “Sorry, what?”

Gary looks even more embarrassed then. “Nevermind. Forget it.”

Oh no, he's not getting away with that one. “Hey, hey, hang on.” He threads his hand through Gary's short blond hair, makes him meet his eye again. “What are you talking about here?”

Gary bites his lip nervously. He looks like he doesn't really want to admit to any of this. “It's just, I've...” he sighs. “I've thought about it. You. Taking me. Hurting me. Using me. Humiliating me. I've thought about it a lot.”

He's sure this should make sense to him, but that doesn't mean it does. “But why?” Fuck, he shouldn't have said that. He can see in the flinch on Gary's face, and he's sure Gaz now thinks he ought to be ashamed, when that's not what he meant at all. “No, no, not like that, just...” He remembers all the awful things he used to say about Gaz. _Why would he want me to do all that again?_ Christ, how does he ask that question? “Why would you let me?” he says. “Why would you let me be cruel to you?”

Gary doesn't look any more comfortable with this issue than he is, but he's not particularly willing to back down. “I want it,” he says. “I've wanted it for years.” Rob is still staring at him, baffled by all these admissions, not sure what to do. “Even when we were at our worst, I...” he sighs. “I don't know. I guess part of it's psychological. You know, you can say all the awful things you used to say, you can beat me, insult me, do what you want, but if I'm the one getting off on it, it's all okay. It makes it better, somehow.”

Rob prick twitches, before he just about drags himself back to reality.

“Are you sure it's not Jay you're trying to shag?”

Gaz laughs at that. There's another poignant pause between them. “It's just, it's not that I don't want to...” Rob can just imagine it, Gary on his knees, covered with his come and god knows what else, and it's getting him hard already. That's what bothers him. “But I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't,” Gary tells him with a frown. “I trust you.”

“Well that's great, but that doesn't mean _I_ trust me.” He's not sure Gaz gets it. It's not like he's never thought about this before. Back in the nineties, he would have killed to have Gary at his feet – to make the uptight little bitch _his_, to make him beg and plead and moan, to have the upper hand on him for once in his fucking life. That terrifies him. “I'm sorry, I'm just... scared. I mean, you know what it was like. I don't want to do that to you again. I don't want to do that to either of us.”

Gary's grey eyes look deeply into his own, and then he sighs. “That's okay,” he says, curling up against Robbie's chest. “I don't want to push you into anything.” Rob instinctively wraps his arms around his shoulders, heart thumping in his chest. “I hope you know, I do care about you,” he says. “I'm not here just for the sex. If you're not willing to come on my face and call me a whore, well, I'll just fucking deal with it, won't I?”

Rob hesitates. It's not like he _doesn't_ want to. It's just, they have so much fucking baggage, the two of them. How could he?

But then again, they're meant to have moved past all that. So why is he letting it hold him back?

“Gaz?”

“Hmm?” Gary looks up at him, sleepy-eyed. He looks one hundred per cent comfortable, in bed with Robbie, and that might be what gives him the bravery to push forward.

“Get up. Out of bed. On the floor, on your knees, c'mon.”

Gary looks disconcerted, perhaps not drawing the connection between this and their previous conversation. “What, why?”

Rob narrows his brow as he swallows the lump in his throat. “Because I told you to.”

Gaz blinks at him, and then, oh so slowly, breaks into a grin.


End file.
